I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
