so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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