Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So much Jack, so little girl.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize