Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
