Say something about gay babies.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
