Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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