Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
