I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
