I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
