I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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