Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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