just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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