Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
