where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
