ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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