YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
where are my eyebrows?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
