Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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