so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
