and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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