how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
