would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
