I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
