fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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