After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize