Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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