I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
