Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
