What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
