Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
