Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
