forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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