OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
