NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
