she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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