I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
