i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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