with your own penis?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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