I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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