it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
