He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
