she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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