She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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