he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
