im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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