Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
