she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
