Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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