i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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