it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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