In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
