You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
