Michael Bay diarrhea
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize