I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
a search helicopter?!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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