ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
