True but thats because hes a fetus.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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