just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
