Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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