Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
