i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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