using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
