Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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