a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
