I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
