He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize