Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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