it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize