dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
