that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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