Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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