my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
