have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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