Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
