who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
